March is Mirror Match Madness Month! Moo!

Well, I think that went pretty well - Knuckle Pine month is all wrapped up, and it's no longer -7 degrees outside on a daily basis. Ugh. You may have noticed that Wrestle Angel Survivor hasn't been getting much attention here lately; Ever since TryFirst took down the roster pages, there's not really much to add, and while I'm still working on an update pack for the big image bomb from back when, that's way on the back burner.

However! A mirror match posted a while back seemed to be a big hit, so what the fuck: March is officially Mirror Match Month for WAS 2. Now, did I make March Mirror Match Month because I'm a alliteration-appreciating American? Affirmative . Anyway, each WAS 2 match in March will be a mirror match. As for the Saturday videos, I'm not so sure yet. I have a half-recorded idea to make Persona vs Persona matches in Rumble Roses, where the normal and Superstar versions of the face personality team up against the normal and superstar versions of the heel personality. In a case where there's barely any difference (Dr A, I'm looking at you) it's just a fatal four-way. Except that of course I have ten of those, and there's only four Saturdays. So fuck it, I dunno what I'll do yet. You'll just have to stay tuned, I guess.

** Update **

Also, I just now realized I messed up my own schedule and forgot to upload the last Knuckle Pine video. Uh, that's next Saturday, I guess. Woops.

Fuck Yeah

Finally some good news! UFC Undisputed 20xx doesn't have them, EA Sports MMA (stupidly) doesn't have them, but finally - finally!! - they annouced Supremacy MMA is going to have some representatives of the other half of the world's population: Chicks. Apparently, it will include just two fighters - and I'm not looking my gift horse in the mouth here - and they are (drumroll):

Felice "Lil Dog" Herrig and Michele "Diablita" Gutierrez!

(Not pictured above: Either one of these women. Real MMA fighters have cornrows or short hair, and probably not as much eye makeup.) No word yet on any kind of create a fighter, but that's just icing, as far as I'm concerned. W00p

** Update **

I almost forgot, Arcana Heart 3's also confirmed for North America. Good news, too, I'm gonna get it, but I'm probably not going to make any videos out of it (I didn't out of Arcana Heart 1, either) for the simple reason that I'm not very good at any 2D fighter past Street Fighter Turbo 3. You kids today.

Ripoff alert! Bwoop! Bwoop! Bwoop!

Do not - I repeat, do not - purchase this DL Site product. Don't make the same mistake I did. The author, for some reason, decided to ruin this black and white boxing comic by putting a big, colored, circular watermark in the middle of every fucking page. Suffice to say, this makes the whole thing unreadable and a total ripoff. This is what I get for actually purchasing products. Jesus christ. Well, buying anything from this guy is a mistake I won't be making again, and you shouldn't, either. This has been a public service message.

Knuckle Pine Dash review

Knuckle Pine Dash
Price (as of early 2010): $12.66

Amazingly, the basic premise between Knuckle Pine and Knuckle Pine Dash is the same: Get in the ring with Pine, and if you beat her, you get to put your thingie in her you know what. If you lose, you get laughed at in a Duck Hunt-esque manner and you have to go home to, I guess, pleasure yourself, or maybe sleep with your wife. Unless she was watching the match and won't sleep with you either. Ladies like a winner. Unless this is H/C fic.

Man, I'm way off topic already. So the basic objective is the same, but some of the details have changed. Instead of just boxing until one of you is knocked out, you now go three rounds with Pine, and whoever has more health left at the end is victorious. (I'd really like to know who's judging these matches, by the way.) In the case of a tie, Pine is awarded the bout. I personally find this to be a little weird; The first game, I thought, had kind of a underground boxing type of feel, where two combatants get in the ring, Pine putting her body on the line, and you putting, uh, I guess your pride, or maybe your face if you get beaten up. Having three rounds - and judges; that sill blows my mind - kinda dilutes this whole atmosphere a little bit. I mean, there isn't even an audience, as far as I can see; Maybe in the first game you and Pine just met in a boxing ring to settle your differences. But what's happening now? All right, I'll tell you, what's happening now is that I'm thinking about this way too much. Oh, and uh, also, between rounds, both of you can get your health back (by picking random cards, same interface as how you box.)

In addition, Pine has been hitting the gym in between games; While she's something of a puss in the original game, she's now quite a tough cookie, and you'll probably win as often as you lose. Both of you now have super punches (marked as a V on the cards). If you draw a V and she doesn't, she gets pounded. If she draws a V and you don't, she knocks your punches out of the way and throws a punch in your face. If you both draw a V, you both go crazy punching each other.
Lastly, you can remove both Pine's top and bottom by clicking in between her boobs and just above her panties, respectively, although removing each piece will make you take as much damage as a super punch as Pine is scandalized by your ungentlemanly behaviour.

Now this all sounds good, but I don't think the three round match length really works to the game's advantage. In the original game, it's easy to forgive the fact that there's no skill involved and you're just picking numbers because the match is over so fast. It's harder to ignore this during a three-round slugfest. It can become particuarlly annoying if you find that you're losing the match, or if you want a specific outcome like winning on points; There's no way to take it easy on Pine, and there's no way to do better, just keep picking numbers. To this day I've still never won on points because you can't run the clock out. The only thing you can do to actually effect the match is to deliberately click Pine's clothes off, which is dangerous since she gets a free super punch.

Other than that there's the H-mode; I think you can do more things than just zoom zoom in her boom boom, but I'll be fucked if I can figure out how. There's also endless boxing mode.

If it seems like I complained a lot, well, I did. Maybe these are all minor complaints, but since (spoiler alert) they're fixed in 3, I'd have to recommend you either pick up the original and save $4 or get a paper route to afford the extra $6 you'd have to pay to get the third game.

Recommended? Gosh, don't you read? I humbly recommend you pick up 1 or 3, kid.

RRXX Singles Tournament Wrapup

Final word on the tournament! Sgt. Clements was the victor, defeating Noble Rose, who I have to admit I'm amazed made it to the finals. Sista A came in second winning her loser's bracket match. (There's a lot of upset Candy Cane fans out there, so we'll put that down as unfinished business for now.) In addition to her grand prize of nothing, Sgt. Clements will also be reciving this commission of her victorious over poor old Noble Rose, courtesy of DK Studios (who I highly recommend for all your commissioning needs; tell her RK sent you). Behold:

And that's that! As a final note, it looks like there's some interest in a tag tournament, so I'll probably record that one of these years; Since the entire singles tournament just got posted, it'll probably be a while to avoid overload. There's two one issues I can see: One is that RRXX tag matches are long as fuck, since the computer can keep doing "RESCUE" interrupts forever, and does. Hopefully YT will actually raise my upload limit beyond 15 minutes one of these years.

The second issue is number of teams; Putting each wrestler into a tag team yields five teams. One of them can get a bye into the next round, but that means Round 2 will have three tag teams. Likewise, I can add an extra team comprised of both forms of Lady X, making six teams in Round 1, but that also produces three teams in Round 2. The alternative is cutting a team and starting with four in Round 1 - but I dunno who to cut. I can't cut Benikage without also cutting Anesthesia. Well, no need to sweat it out now. You know what month kicks off with the first video today. Check it out; I'll know if you don't.

It's Knuckle Pine Jelly Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Left: She's a boxer with blonde hair and blue trunks, close enough)

A commenter on one of the tournament videos asked what Knuckle Pine is, and seeing as how it's now offically Knuckle Pine month, here's the short answer for all you noobs out there: It's a series of three first-person boxing games in which you box with, and then have loving intercourse with, a lady boxer named Pine who apparently has decided this is how she's going to become the next Mike Tyson, or maybe she just can't admit she likes you and wants to see how far you'll go to get in her blue bikini bottoms. You can see a detailed review of the first in the series here. I've been meaning to review the other two (see this post for a list of all the DL site reviews) - so look for that this month. Also, valentine's day is this month, and luckily since I've already decided on the theme of Pine's various games, I don't have to try to come up with some kind of special valtentine's day video. Boom.

Anyways, that's all the big news, if you count "I'm finally going to post reviews of the other two Pine games" as big news, which I guess nobody does. That's probably medium-small news. However, I'd also like to use this opportunity for a disclaimer: No matter how nicely you ask, unfortunately, I can't provide free copies of any of these games. The artists who make them aren't going to continue to produce games if everyone downloads them for free instead of purchasing them. And besides, these aren't $60 investments - as of this writing, the first game in the series is a whopping $8, and the final game in the series is under $20. If these games were hard to get ahold of, that would be one thing, but all you need is a credit card and $8 to download them from the english DL Site. Or maybe even a debit card. Does that work?
I guess I'm rambling, so let me wrap this up: Because of YouTube's policy that you can show a woman getting cut in half but you can't show her nipples, Pine's boobs will not be appearing in any of the videos. If you don't want to buy the games but want to see her breasts, check this post, which also includes a behind the scenes look at recording videos that you don't have to read. Never let it be said I don't give the fans what they want (bare boobs)!