Fire Pro is here, tonight!

Oof! Sorry for the lack of updates, but there's really nothing to report; When the biggest female combat game coming out is a NHL game where you can make two female hockey players fight... well. I've complained about this before, but there's a good reason the bread and butter of the videos I'm making is a six year old wrestling game.
Still, though! All is not lost, because last Friday, Fire Pro, the avatar wrestling game for the xbox 360, came out. Luckily, I have some dumb Avatar outfits, so we'll see how many videos of it I can upload to YouTube where I have a vampire wearing the Asari diplomat robes from Mass Effect 1 wrestling a lady dressed up as Miss Piggy before I get booed off the internet. Oh yeah!!

WWE 12 is here, tonight!

Yes, I know the original creator spelled Lockhart wrong.

Well, it's taken long enough, but I finally broke WWE 12 out. Instead of re-making my usual cast of heroines for another year, I decided this time that I would use the create-a-wrestler download feature and make a roster of epic dream matches the world has been waiting for (see above image). This, of course, is before I found out that WWE 12's online is fucked beyond belief, and apparently has been since launch; It takes almost as long to download a fucking wrestler as it does to just make her from a formula. Still, though, I've rounded up an interesting cast of characters, so look for a WWE '12 match at least once a month (possibly more) from here on out. If you have the game yourself and see a CAW up for download you'd like to see featured, by all means let me know, although I guess you could just download her yourself. Anyway, don't miss the epic kickoff match here:

Top comments, June 2012 edition

It's that time again!

User Anime2GW on RRXX Candy H Move Special:

i dont know this just looks like wwe for perverts, seriously -.- oh well no redeeming features of that game from what i've seen so far, why bother with this anyways its amaturish and dull in my oppinion

User drummer25664 on Video editing drives RK up the wall

yes choppy buy you dont need to put a vid on you tube abd whine to all of us aboiut it, you probably have some spam and virus's that you need to get rid of. pay a place to have it checked out and cleaned up.

User lalamarie55 on SvR9 - Heroine vs Miranda (Queen of the Ring Round 1)

gay

User rjean131 on Rumble Roses Live Action Reiko vs Dixie

Dey r both ugly az fnck!!! That stinkface wuz crappy and weak! Their wrestling is almost as fake as the wwe! And torrie Wilson or Kelly Kelly would have done da stinkface bettr!

User TyGamer0426 on  Rumble Roses Like Action Reiko vs Makoto

i have a boner

Good news!

Two pieces of good news. First - and it's about fucking time! - I saw this delightful message the other day:

Woop woop woop! Maybe now I can do that Rumble Roses XX Tag Tournament without tearing my hair out at how the CPU can't manage to have a tag match that's under an hour long (I cringe every time I see RESCUE come up now).
And what else? I finally remembered DL Site exists after not visiting for six months, and low and behold There's a new Knuckle Pine game out ("SUPER")! I'm not sure that I like the doofy looking 3D that's apparently being used now, but beggars can't be choosers. Review coming at some point, probably, um, after I finish the Turbo review. (Spoilers: It's great. [Turbo, not Super, which is still downloading.])

** Update **

Well, I'd be careful purchasing Super; Instead of just a flash file, it's now a program you have to actually install, and doesn't seem to play well with western Windows, even using applocale. Oof.

>:/

Well, I hate to keep complaining about this Roxio capture device, but if you've seen last week's match (all 600 of you!!11), you've probably noticed that it's very quiet. Playing the files on my computer, it's easy to miss - at 100% volume the raw divx is loud, and it's fine even at 50% - but when uploaded to YouTube, the audio is so quiet you'll have to have it JAKKED to hear anything at all. (I might just take the video and record some goofy play by play over it; we'll see.) In any case, I've given up on this shitty roxio thing - I think I'm going to go Hauppage off a cliff here - but before I'd noticed this charming habit it has, I'd already used it to record two months' worth of material. And how many of the videos have the sound normal for two seconds and then drop off a cliff? All of them, Katie. Argh.

I could re-record these, but I really like how all these matches turned out. I'll try to fix it in post, but if the audio was recorded really quietly, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do. So, that's fun. 

Fuck off, Roxio.

** Update **

Well, I think I fixed the sound, although now the video seems to have even more light bloom. I dunno, see for yourself:

It's Black and Bruised month!

(Public service announcement: I don't recommend typing "black and bruised" into Google Image Search - lots of depressing results.)

Time for another one-game month! This time it's the goofy, cel-shaded boxing brawler Black and Bruised from the PS2. Heck, why don't I just let the request speak for itself:

Now I don't blame you if you've never heard of it. It flew under the radar years ago and lasted like a month before hitting the bargain bin but thats not to say it's awful. I mean it's not good but it's not awful.

But you know what is awful? The fact there are like zero good videos of this game on youtube! The ones featuring everyone's favorite boxing babes (Janet, Holly, etc) are all camcorder crap. We need a pro like you to fix this!

Now I love what you're doing with Wrestle Angles Survivor 2 and RRXX but I think it's time to dust off this old overlooked classic.

Well, never let it be said I don't have a good video capture device. The only caveat I'll issue here is that some of the matches are going to be pretty short - this is a "boxing-based" game, not a boxing game, so there's not a lot of fancy footwork and blocking, it's mostly the two women throwing punches at each other's face until one of them can't get up. I mean, I can run away from the opponent to make a match last longer, but not only does that feel kind of contrary to the game's spirit, but it also is probably pretty fucking boring to watch. So I didn't! There's no Knockout Kings 2001 style 30 minute duels here. Whether you prefer this style or not, I guess you'll just have to watch the videos to find out.

>:O

So, you may remember that last year I got a new video recording device. Unfortunately, having (a year later, cough) gotten around to actually using the thing, I can't really recommend it. The recorder itself works great, but it has one single fatal flaw - the recorder puts out divx video. Guess what file format the fucking software bundled with the recorder can't handle? Yeah. Div fucking X. I was like (see image at left). So this means that if you want to edit the file at all - say, to remove the little bit of load screen that got captured because you had to hit Record early because the video recorder has some start-up lag and otherwise it misses the first couple seconds of video - well, you're shit out of luck; Off to Google to see if you can find a free DivX editor, sucker. Which is what I'm doing now, by the way - that's how much I love my fans; I'm wasting an afternoon fucking around with Video Pad Pro or whatever to cut out four seconds of loading. You may appreciate my sacrifice now.

So long story short, that Roxio devicewas a bust. Next up I got my eyes set on this - anyone who gets it for me gets a year's worth of requests.

Oof!

Well, so much for business as usual, but let me plead my case here: I somehow got sick twice in the shortest month of the year (one stomach bug where I couldn't even keep down half a bowl of white rice, and one horrible cold I'm still fighting off). Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the Knockout Kings 2001 month. I was going to post another video today showing off the illegal moves you can do to get yourself disqualified, but honestly, they're not that great (maybe it's just me, but I can barely tell what's happening). So instead of throwing that up on YouTube, you can download the raw video files here if you want:

https://rapidshare.com/files/8471231/Illegal_moves_1.mpeg

https://rapidshare.com/files/2763149701/Illegal_moves_2.mpeg

Alternate download (RIP, Crapidshare):

http://www.wupload.com/file/2667384332/Illegal_moves_1.mpeg

http://www.wupload.com/file/2667384342/Illegal_moves_2.mpeg

Video one has punching in the clinch, and elbows; Two has headbutts and what the game calls low blows, although they just look like, um, elbows. (Also, I couldn't pull the moves off for some reason, so that's me fucking up, not St. John being drunk or whatever.)

So that was February! March is going to be another Rumble Roses month (and, fair warning, my wife is flipping out for Mass Effect 3 coming out). As for April, we'll see - the current plan is another PS2 boxing game that rhymes with Glack and Gruised. Stay tuned :X

** Update **

I'll just leave this here.

Unexpected Service Interruption

Well, as you may have seen last Saturday, I'm still fighting with this new Roxio game capture device; I dunno, I guess the video it outputs still looks pretty good, but since I'm a perfectionist and I don't know when to quit, I'm going to fight with it a little more. In any case, there may or may not be a video tomorrow. (Also, none of this is related to my wife making me play knights of the old republic enjoying Knights of the Old Republic with me.) At worst, we'll be back to normal in February, which is probably going to be another theme month; I don't want to give too much away, but, umm, I can't think of way to finish that sentence without giving it away. In any case, check back here tomorrow - what, like you have something better to do? - and on February 4th at the latest we'll be back in business.

Another batch of RRXX pix downloaded from Live

Yes, it's that time again - 209 pictures downloaded from Live over the last seven months or so. I know I keep saying this, but I'm still amazed at the pictures people manage to get out of this game, even five years on after the release date. (Also, I know I keep saying this, too, but leave Sebestian out of your photos. Nobody wants to see him.)

Download links!

Crapidshare:

https://rapidshare.com/files/1886668875/RRXXHQ3.rar

Megabuttload:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=A5U6JKAI

Photobucket:

http://s1223.photobucket.com/albums/dd514/RyonaKingsFirstAccountGotBanned/RRXHQ3/

(Password is: Banned)

** Update **

Well, forget that Megaupload link, I guess. Jesus.

It's Hideous ECW Wrestling Game Month!!!!!!!!

Yes, it's that time of the year again - put on your hideous holiday sweaters, make a nice fire, put on some Christmas music, and gather the whole family to watch low-polygon versions of Dawn Marie and Jazz punch each other in the groin.

December will have five Saturday videos, the first two being the relatively sane ECW Hardcore Revolution, and the last three being the dumpster-match craziness of ECW Anarchy Rulz (because poor literacy is kewl). These are some games I'd never played until just now, and although the graphics have aged about as well as any polygonal PlayStation 1 game, I am impressed at the sheer number of match types. We'll see how many of them I can show off in five videos (spoiler alert: five). Stay tuned.

** Update **

First video!

I'm back & HOLY SHIT what did they do to YouTube??

Well, I'm back. How was the vacation? Awesome, thanks; We went to the Epcot Food & Wine Festival, and I finally got to go on Soarin', which holy shit, nobody cares about hearing about my vacation, do they? Let's leave it at that I'm rested and relaxed, and should now be responding to messages and comments much sooner*.

Also, jesus god, what the hell happened to the YouTube front page? And I thought them fucking around with the way the channels look was bad. Holy hell. Well, um, stay tuned for December; Check back on Saturday for the first match of another special month, and check back here for the big announcement. Can this top two extremely polygonal women hitting each other with sinks and traffic cones in the WCW bathroom? Amazingly, the answer is yes. Cue shocked emoticon to end post on:

:0

* As in probably within three weeks instead of six

Vacation time woop woop woop woop!!!!!

It's that time of the year again - time to pay ten month's worth of mortgage payments to jet down to Disney's Polynesian Resort for 2 weeks of fun, sun, fun in the sun, sun's fun in the sun that has fun with the sun whose sun we are having fun with.

Ahem. As you can tell, I'm excited. As noted, pretty much at least the first half of November is going to be a wash. I'll try to upload a 100% body 0% muscle match for Thanksgiving and make some lame jokes about how they all ate a lot of turkey and mashed potatoes ha ha etc. Otherwise upload activity is probably going to be pretty light, and responding to comments/messages is going to be not at all during the first half and at a slower pace during the second half (okay, who yelled "is that even possible"). Wish me a nice vacation, and if you see a slouching guy who needs to shave with his wife with big boobs in the Polynesian, yes, I will sign autographs.

2011's remaining schedule

You may have noticed there was no WAS 2 video this week; The simple fact is that I'm running short of WAS 2 requests, so these might get cut down to every other week or just filled with my own whims in terms of matchups, depending on how I'm feeling.

So what about Saturday videos? Well, you may disagree with me here, but I have to say Supremacy MMA was kind of a bust; Turns out neither one of the female fighters has any submissions at all (!). I mean, I could do story mode, but it's basically just the same fight over and over again. I was kind of hoping to get a little more material from it, but those are the breaks. So what's on tap?

Well, October is probably going to be business as usual, which is to say Rumble Roses on Saturday and, like above, possibly every other WAS 2 on Wednesday. I'm working on some side projects, but I wouldn't expect to see any of them until 2012. (Wait, you want to know what I'm actually working on? Okay, you talked me into it - Knockout Kings, Black and Bruised, and Ready 2 Rumble Round 2 for the PS2, primarily.)

Why won't any of these be ready in November or December, you ask? Well, November is going to mostly be a wash; I'm going on vacation to Disney to celebrate the second anniversary of my wife turning 29, and I'm going to be gone like 17 days or something ridiculous, and when I get back both Skyrim and Saint's Row 3 are going to be waiting for me, so I don't anticipate that November's going to be terribly productive.

December, however, I am cooking up another theme month. Let's just say you may not want to remember getting dismembered in December. Although you probably wouldn't be able to remember anything because you'd probably be dead after getting dismembered. Anyway, stay tuned.

Supremacy MMA is here, tonight!

Well, Supremacy MMA kept getting delayed, so imagine my surprise to find a copy of it on my doorstep Friday. Luckily the game has a simulation mode, so I recorded two CPU vs CPU matches. I'm debating doing an entire career mode; The problem with having your game only have two women and no create-a-fighter and making it so the women can only fight each other is that the career mode looks like this:

Whoever you picked: Las Vegas, a city built by bandits. I came out here to [our hero presses start]

(Fight whichever female fighter you didin't pick.)

Whoever you picked: After I beat up (whoever you didn't pick), I was ready to head back East. Imagine my surprise when my trainer called up and told me (whoever you didn't pick) wanted a rematch. I was going to say no until I heard that she said I had a big butt and my butt smelled and I liked to kiss my own butt.

(Fight whichever female fighter you didin't pick.)

Whoever you picked: After I beat (whoever you didn't pick) again, I thought I was ready to head back east, but...

Anyway, you can see where I'm going with this. What I'd really like to show off more than the story mode is the submission system, but the CPU doesn't seem to want to cooperate with this; I can slam the computer down and start punching and kneeing them, but actually getting a submission hold on is difficult; Even making the opponent a "second player" another controller where I never touch any buttons, the instructions for putting on submission holds doesn't seem to work, and in all the fights I've simmed, the fighters will slam each other on the mat once in a while, but they just elbow and knee each other. This might just be because the two female's fighting styles are kickboxing and muay thai, but I'll keep plugging away and see what I can come up with. In the mean time, enjoy this week's match, and uh, you may not want to watch next week's if you're squeamish.

(confetti falls from the rafters as the crowd goes wild)

As you may remember from my last post, YouTube randomly decided that one of the WAS 2 videos I uploaded (specifically Chris Morgan vs Beauty Ichigaya) violated the "community standards". I appealed this, and to my amazement, justice has won out (this following part should all be a blockquote, but the image might mess up the formatting):

Regarding your account: RyonaKing

The YouTube Community has flagged one or more of your videos as inappropriate. Once a video is flagged, it is reviewed by the YouTube Team against our Community Guidelines. Upon review, we have determined that the following video(s) contain content that may not be suitable for all viewers:

WAS 2 Beauty Ichigaya vs Chris Morgan

As a result, we have age-restricted this content.

For more information on YouTube's Community Guidelines and how they are enforced, please visit the help center http://www.google.com/support/youtube/bin/answer.py?answer=92486.

Sincerely,
The YouTube Team

Yeah, I still don't get what the big deal is, but what the hell, I'll take it. Now if I can just get that COMMUNITY STRIKE for my PG-rated backround where you can see an inch of Rowdy Reiko's sideboob to age off my account, I'll be all set. Group hug.

What the what?

Here's what I logged in to see today:

The YouTube Community has flagged one or more of your videos as inappropriate. Once a video is flagged, it is reviewed by the YouTube Team against our Community Guidelines. Upon review, we have determined that the following video(s) contain content in violation of these guidelines, and have been disabled:

• WAS 2 Beauty Ichigaya vs Chris Morgan - (RyonaKing)

YouTube is not the place for nudity, pornography or other sexually provocative content. YouTube makes limited exceptions for appropriate educational, documentary, artistic and scientific contexts, but only in limited circumstances where the purpose of posting is clear and any nudity it is not sexual in nature.

Your account has received one Community Guidelines warning strike, which will expire in six months. Additional violations may result in the temporary disabling of your ability to post content to YouTube and/or the permanent termination of your account.

For more information on YouTube's Community Guidelines and how they are enforced, please visit the help center.

For your reference, a copy of this message has also been emailed to the address associated with this account.

So, uh. I don't get it; I'm not really sure what community guideline this is apparently violating. Nudity? Is one-piece bathing suits nudity? Violence, because there's barely-animated wrestling moves? Is this a Chris Morgan hater who's mad that she lost? Well, if YouTube upholds this COMMUNITY STRIKE, I guess there's nothing to stop people from flagging all the other WAS and WAS2 videos, which should get my account terminated. Since they're, uh, against some guidelines? Needless to say I appealed this, but I don't really have much to go on since they don't actually tell you which one of the guidelines it violated, so I don't even know what horrid content it supposedly has; Hard to say more than "lol what does this violate" considering how vague the guidelines are and how little information I've been givn. Anyway, I don't have high hopes of the video getting reinstated, but we'll see. Stay tuned.

** Update **

Gonna post this on Viddler as part of the sadly growing Too Hot for Youtube collection:

Irene, you cunt!

Now a super quick service advisory: The Ryona Kingdom is located in beautiful upstate NY, so we're in the path of Irene, although by the time it gets here it should be down to Tropical Storm levels and not actual hurricane strength. We're not supposed to get hit until Sunday morning, so the last WCW Backstage Assault should be up on time, but if your good pal RyonaKing isn't seen or heard from after that, well, I'm probably cursing loudly by candlelight. (More likely, nothing's going to happen, which is what I'm hoping for, since I have exactly zero preparations in case something does go wrong.)

** Update **

Well, it just rained a little. Now I feel bad I called Irene a cunt.

It's Hideous WCW PlayStation Wrestling Game Month!!!!!!

Oh, fuck. Here we go. Yes, it's WCW playstation wrestling game month! The card is:

August 6th: WCW Nitro

August 13th: WCW Thunder

August 20: WCW Backstage Assault

August 27: WCW Backstage Assault again

Now I'm gonna be really honest here: Nitro and Thunder are garbage. I'm sure these were more impressive when they came out, and I'm willing to forgive the graphics since every polygonal game on the PlayStation that isn't Final Fantasy VIII is hideous, but the gameplay - my god, the gameplay. I've been spoiled silly by Smackdown's sensible and easy to use controls where you have a button to lock up; Nitro and Thunder have WWF Warzone-style moves where you press < O O or v X X or whatever to do a piledriver, and everybody has the same moves and god damn it is bad. And that's leaving out the insanity of having random wrestlers do run-ins (the first trial match I wrestled, Rey Mysterio ran in to beat up one of the Nitro girls).

Backstage Assault I perversely actually like the best, even though it's a mess of a game. I'm just gonna come out and admit it - I kind of love Backstage Assault just for the novelty value. In this era of PG-rated WWE games where DIVAS can't use weapons at all, it's just downright fucking weird being able to boot this game up and make Stacy Keibler kill Torrie Wilson by repeatedly hitting her over the head with a ceramic sink or iron bar.

So that's what you have to look forward to; I await with baited breath your angry comments and annoyed emoticons. This is truly going to be the greatest month in the history of our sport('s hideous decade old WCW wrestling games)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August is a surprise month!

Big news: Next month -August, assuming I live that long with this heat wave - is going to have a special theme. No Rumble Roses videos on Saturday; All four Saturday videos are going to be very, very special. What is it, you ask? It's not Game Boy Boxing Month (still working on recording those). So what then? Well, let's just say that these four Saturdays may very well be the greatest nights in the history of our sport. And if you enjoyed Hideous Playstation Boxing Game Month, you're really going to enjoy this, and you should also probably get your eyes checked.

Have I said too much? All right, more than that, you'll just have to wait and see. Cherish the next two Rumble Roses XX videos, they're the last ones you'll be seeing for a while. Stay tuned - the announcement will go up on the 5th of August, with the first video on the 6th. w00p