Fire Pro is here, tonight!

Oof! Sorry for the lack of updates, but there's really nothing to report; When the biggest female combat game coming out is a NHL game where you can make two female hockey players fight... well. I've complained about this before, but there's a good reason the bread and butter of the videos I'm making is a six year old wrestling game.
Still, though! All is not lost, because last Friday, Fire Pro, the avatar wrestling game for the xbox 360, came out. Luckily, I have some dumb Avatar outfits, so we'll see how many videos of it I can upload to YouTube where I have a vampire wearing the Asari diplomat robes from Mass Effect 1 wrestling a lady dressed up as Miss Piggy before I get booed off the internet. Oh yeah!!

WWE 12 is here, tonight!

Yes, I know the original creator spelled Lockhart wrong.

Well, it's taken long enough, but I finally broke WWE 12 out. Instead of re-making my usual cast of heroines for another year, I decided this time that I would use the create-a-wrestler download feature and make a roster of epic dream matches the world has been waiting for (see above image). This, of course, is before I found out that WWE 12's online is fucked beyond belief, and apparently has been since launch; It takes almost as long to download a fucking wrestler as it does to just make her from a formula. Still, though, I've rounded up an interesting cast of characters, so look for a WWE '12 match at least once a month (possibly more) from here on out. If you have the game yourself and see a CAW up for download you'd like to see featured, by all means let me know, although I guess you could just download her yourself. Anyway, don't miss the epic kickoff match here:

Top comments, June 2012 edition

It's that time again!

User Anime2GW on RRXX Candy H Move Special:

i dont know this just looks like wwe for perverts, seriously -.- oh well no redeeming features of that game from what i've seen so far, why bother with this anyways its amaturish and dull in my oppinion

User drummer25664 on Video editing drives RK up the wall

yes choppy buy you dont need to put a vid on you tube abd whine to all of us aboiut it, you probably have some spam and virus's that you need to get rid of. pay a place to have it checked out and cleaned up.

User lalamarie55 on SvR9 - Heroine vs Miranda (Queen of the Ring Round 1)

gay

User rjean131 on Rumble Roses Live Action Reiko vs Dixie

Dey r both ugly az fnck!!! That stinkface wuz crappy and weak! Their wrestling is almost as fake as the wwe! And torrie Wilson or Kelly Kelly would have done da stinkface bettr!

User TyGamer0426 on  Rumble Roses Like Action Reiko vs Makoto

i have a boner

Good news!

Two pieces of good news. First - and it's about fucking time! - I saw this delightful message the other day:

Woop woop woop! Maybe now I can do that Rumble Roses XX Tag Tournament without tearing my hair out at how the CPU can't manage to have a tag match that's under an hour long (I cringe every time I see RESCUE come up now).
And what else? I finally remembered DL Site exists after not visiting for six months, and low and behold There's a new Knuckle Pine game out ("SUPER")! I'm not sure that I like the doofy looking 3D that's apparently being used now, but beggars can't be choosers. Review coming at some point, probably, um, after I finish the Turbo review. (Spoilers: It's great. [Turbo, not Super, which is still downloading.])

** Update **

Well, I'd be careful purchasing Super; Instead of just a flash file, it's now a program you have to actually install, and doesn't seem to play well with western Windows, even using applocale. Oof.

>:/

Well, I hate to keep complaining about this Roxio capture device, but if you've seen last week's match (all 600 of you!!11), you've probably noticed that it's very quiet. Playing the files on my computer, it's easy to miss - at 100% volume the raw divx is loud, and it's fine even at 50% - but when uploaded to YouTube, the audio is so quiet you'll have to have it JAKKED to hear anything at all. (I might just take the video and record some goofy play by play over it; we'll see.) In any case, I've given up on this shitty roxio thing - I think I'm going to go Hauppage off a cliff here - but before I'd noticed this charming habit it has, I'd already used it to record two months' worth of material. And how many of the videos have the sound normal for two seconds and then drop off a cliff? All of them, Katie. Argh.

I could re-record these, but I really like how all these matches turned out. I'll try to fix it in post, but if the audio was recorded really quietly, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do. So, that's fun. 

Fuck off, Roxio.

** Update **

Well, I think I fixed the sound, although now the video seems to have even more light bloom. I dunno, see for yourself:

It's Black and Bruised month!

(Public service announcement: I don't recommend typing "black and bruised" into Google Image Search - lots of depressing results.)

Time for another one-game month! This time it's the goofy, cel-shaded boxing brawler Black and Bruised from the PS2. Heck, why don't I just let the request speak for itself:

Now I don't blame you if you've never heard of it. It flew under the radar years ago and lasted like a month before hitting the bargain bin but thats not to say it's awful. I mean it's not good but it's not awful.

But you know what is awful? The fact there are like zero good videos of this game on youtube! The ones featuring everyone's favorite boxing babes (Janet, Holly, etc) are all camcorder crap. We need a pro like you to fix this!

Now I love what you're doing with Wrestle Angles Survivor 2 and RRXX but I think it's time to dust off this old overlooked classic.

Well, never let it be said I don't have a good video capture device. The only caveat I'll issue here is that some of the matches are going to be pretty short - this is a "boxing-based" game, not a boxing game, so there's not a lot of fancy footwork and blocking, it's mostly the two women throwing punches at each other's face until one of them can't get up. I mean, I can run away from the opponent to make a match last longer, but not only does that feel kind of contrary to the game's spirit, but it also is probably pretty fucking boring to watch. So I didn't! There's no Knockout Kings 2001 style 30 minute duels here. Whether you prefer this style or not, I guess you'll just have to watch the videos to find out.

>:O

So, you may remember that last year I got a new video recording device. Unfortunately, having (a year later, cough) gotten around to actually using the thing, I can't really recommend it. The recorder itself works great, but it has one single fatal flaw - the recorder puts out divx video. Guess what file format the fucking software bundled with the recorder can't handle? Yeah. Div fucking X. I was like (see image at left). So this means that if you want to edit the file at all - say, to remove the little bit of load screen that got captured because you had to hit Record early because the video recorder has some start-up lag and otherwise it misses the first couple seconds of video - well, you're shit out of luck; Off to Google to see if you can find a free DivX editor, sucker. Which is what I'm doing now, by the way - that's how much I love my fans; I'm wasting an afternoon fucking around with Video Pad Pro or whatever to cut out four seconds of loading. You may appreciate my sacrifice now.

So long story short, that Roxio devicewas a bust. Next up I got my eyes set on this - anyone who gets it for me gets a year's worth of requests.